I Got Nothin'

I have nothing to say.

That pretty much covers it.

I'm sitting here at Barnes and Noble in Peabody (MA), where they're not supposed to serve Godiva Hot Chocolate but they do anyway, hoping to get myself into a writing mood so I can get back to the play I'm writing with Cindy Williams and Eddie Mekka in mind. But nothing's coming. I finished a draft of Act One yesterday, and it doesn't stink. Problem is, when Act One is over, there are only a couple of options: go back and keep fixing Act One, or move on to create Act Two. Fixing is easy. Creating a new Act Two is not. So I have Cindy's character at home on New Year's Eve. She's just asked one of her neighbors to kill her before midnight. And that's the end of Act One. Something will come to me. Maybe not here, maybe not today, but sometime.

I hope.

I got nothin'.

I look at the magazine racks and see famous people staring at me.

Taylor Swift. Where have I seen her? Saturday Night Live. I didn't know who she was then and I barely know who she is now. On this magazine cover (what magazine?), she seems to be paired with another Taylor, this time a guy, from I think the TWILIGHT movies. Where have I seen him? Saturday Night Live. Didn't know who he was then and....you get the idea. I don't know his last name. I sneak over and thumb through the magazine. Every time he is mentioned, he is referred to only as "Taylor." This means he is so famous, that everybody knows him by his first name!

But what if you're referring to Taylor Swift?

No wonder they're hooked up on this magazine cover. Poor kids. They're so rich and famous they have to be placed side by side on a magazine cover so they won't be mistaken for each other.

Alec Baldwin. Now, I've seen him lots of places, but mainly on...Saturday Night Live, where he is one of the best guest hosts. This would be a good place for an Alec Baldwin family phone call joke, but I've done that already in an earlier blog.

Tiger. On Golf Digest. Standing behind a superimposed photo of Obama. Something about 10 tips Tiger can give the president. Seems Tiger is a couple of presidents late on this one. The guy just before Bush II may have been able to learn something from the Tig Man.

Miley Cyrus. All I know about her is I have her father's one hit on my iPod because it's helpful to run to it. Especially at the beginning of a run. Really gets me going. Miley herself, I wouldn't recognize a tune by her on the radio. Sorry. And she's kinda hidden on the magazine under the two Taylors. Miley's fifteen minutes may be down to two or three.

Perhaps I should stop looking at the magazine rack and try to write that second act.

Wait! Rihanna on the cover of GQ! I don't know who she is, but she absolutely belongs on the cover of GQ. Way to go, Rihanna!

Oh, yes, I did see her on SNL as well, didn't I?

She is wearing far, far less on the cover of GQ.

Way to go, Rihanna!

Now, that second act...

Hold on...

Reese and Jake have split. What a shame.

Tiger and Jessica are linked.

Linked, get it?

Robert Pattison and Jaycee Dugard are among People's Most Intriguing People of the Year.

WDF are they?

He's one of those damn vampires, isn't he?

Jennifer Aniston says, "You just have to love your life!"

Well, why is she telling me that NOW? Damn!

So many magazines, so many celebrities, so little time.

Wait, if you pick up People Magazine with Jennifer Aniston upright, then open the magazine, everything else is upside down!

That means something...I know it does.

It means I'd better get back to that second act.